Metal Gear Insanity
by Tomoko
Summary: Just some weird stuff. Nothing much. Otacon's love is revealed, as well as Snake's crazy idea. **Chap. 3 Up!!!***R+R, please!
1. Otacon's Love and Bob the Car Crash-Up D...

Metal Gear Insanity: For the Love of Question Marks

            Ohayo gozaimasu! Or um… konnichi wa or konban wa! Whichever greeting works for you! ^_~ Here I am again with Chu Chu-chan and ready to write an insanity fiction to get our minds off of our stupid work! *Ahem* Me? Takin' a break from my other fic until the weekend, or at least until my next anime discussion meeting! *Listens to MGS2 Soundtracks (Original & The Other Side) all of the way through and then switches over to Cowboy Bebop Blue, OST 3, Track 6: Chicken Bone* Hey… we needed insane music! Thanks for burning it for me, Jahrid! :) 

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*Otacon is on the couch reading doujinshi _again_/ Snake is having crazy ideas as usual*

Snake: Hey Otacon, I just had a crazy idea.

*See? Told you.*

Snake: Shut up you… oh…yeah. Anyway, about this crazy idea I have.

Otacon: Listen, we don't have any more money to spend on your ideas anymore. Don't you remember that we spent it all on that car crash-up dummy that we ended up stealing from Liquid anyway?

Snake: Oh yeah. Damn. *Pauses. Grabs car crash-up dummy* But I do love Bob! *Hugs dummy*

Otacon: *Cocks an eyebrow* You gave that plastic artificial _thing_ a name?

Snake: [Offended] Don't say that about Bob! *Pats dummy's head* Bob is very sensitive.

Otacon: ? *Blue Question mark pops above Otacon's head*

*Liquid begins crying from another room*

Liquid: Waaah! My Bob… My BOB!!! 

Otacon: Liquid too…? 

Snake: Mine! *hugs "BOB"* 

Otacon: ? *Red Question mark pops above Otacon's head*

Snake: Ha ha. I can do that too! *Red Question mark pops above Snake's head* *points to it* See? Tomoko even took a pic of me doing it! [Proud]

*Tomoko: How did you know about that?*

Snake: I can see u… *evil look*

*Sweatdrop*

Snake: … nevermind.

Otacon: So? I bet you can't do this! *Pops double Question marks (??)*

Snake: Huh!? How come you can do that?!? *Tries to do double question marks, but fails*

Otacon: *Grins* Tomoko programmed me so I could! Hey! Take pictures of me doing this, too! *Pops ^_^*

Snake: ! *Exclamation mark pops up*

Otacon: And this…! *Spanish exclamation mark, question mark, regular exclamation mark, and a message that says 'I Love Otaku Tess'*

Otacon: *Sweatdrops* Oops. That… wasn't supposed to show up.

Snake: *Evil grin* I'm tellin' everybody! I'm tellin' EVERYBODY!!! 

*Tomoko claps hands*

Tomoko: Yo. You guys. We're getting' off of the main idea here… how about going back to- *Gets pushed out of the way by Otaku Tess* Wha!

Otaku Tess: Yes! My dream has come true! Let's go get married right away! *Takes Otacon off set*

Tomoko: Wait- you can't do that…- *Sweatdrops*

Snake: Ah… young love…

Tomoko: What the hell would you know?!?  Now I have to get a replacement Otacon for the damned fic.

*Raiden jumps out in a lab coat w/ glasses*

Tomoko: *Sweatdrops* You've gotta be kidding me. When this is what you give me to work with, how do you expect me to write _anything_ good?!?

Snake: *Talking to BOB* Bob, why don't WE ever think about marriage?

Raiden: Can I be the flower gir- uh, best man?

Snake: Um… Ok.

Tomoko: *Slaps head* I'm surrounded by idiots.

Snake: Baka.

Tomoko: What?

Snake: You're surrounded by bakas. Use correct Japanese.

Tomoko: What the hell do you even know about Japanese?!?

*Raiden & Snake look at each other then start singing in Japanese*

Snake and Raiden: Sono Hi Gogo Kara, Hikure ni Kakete…

Tomoko: …

Snake and Raiden: Karui Yuudachi ga Toori Sugita…

Tomoko: Oh please! Cut!!!

To be continued…

Solidus: *Bursts in* Wait! Um! Um! I know this! Wait!

Tomoko: You… weren't supposed to be in this one…

Solidus: I know! Um… Damn the Patriots!!! Yea! That's it! Whoo… I'm good. C'mon now, give it up. *Motions arms up*

Tomoko: I'm outta here…

*Snake and Raiden Clapping*

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Well, that was… strange. R+R please. Sorry Otaku Tess, I couldn't resist! ^_~ I just had to set you two up!

Next MGS Insanity fic: For the Love of Boy Bands ~ Snake's crazy idea is revealed!

Ja mata ne until then.

.::Tomoko::.


	2. Snake's Crazy Idea

Metal Gear Insanity: For the Love of Boy Bands~ PART 1

            Back… now onto the 2nd chapter. Oh yeah, forgot to mention in the first one: MGS is Copyright Konami & Hideo Kojima, but it will be Otaku Tess' and mine one day, and Otacon shall be the one to rule!!! *Laughs evilly* Ahem. Onto Chapter 2!

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Snake: This doesn't feel right… I want Otacon back…

*Stares across the room at Raiden adjusting his glasses in the mirror*

Tomoko: Well, then go find him. Actually go find _them_! Otaku Tess is probably happily married by now… *sighs* I wanted to be at that wedding…

Snake: You can come to me and Bob's wedding.

Tomoko: Uh… no.

Snake: *Squeals* Why?!?

Tomoko: …do you even have to ask?

Raiden: OK! I can see now… let's get on with the fic!

Tomoko: Fine.

*Raiden sits down in Otacon's chair*

Raiden: *Shuffles around* Oooh. Comfy. 

Snake: ? *Red question mark pops up*

Raiden: Fuzzy… *smiles*

Bob: ! *Red exclamation mark pops up*

Snake: Oh my gosh! Bob! You can do the question mark thing! I love you!!! *kisses BOB*

Raiden: Okay, THAT'S WRONG!!!

Chu Chu-chan: Wrong fic, girlfriend!

Raiden: I'm not a girl!!!

Chu Chu-chan: Uh… you fooled me.

Tomoko: PEOPLE!!!

*Everyone becomes quiet*

Tomoko: Thank you. Now…

Raiden: *Clears throat/ tries to sound intelligent like Otacon* So what's this deranged idea, Snake? _Deranged: disturbed, mad, crazy, unhinged, crackers, nuts, um…_

Snake: Um… Raiden, dude? Otacon never does that.

Raiden: Oh really? Sorry.

Snake: It's ok. Bob forgives you. Ok! Anyway! I have this crazy idea, see?

Raiden: So what is it???

Snake: We are gonna start a Metal Gear Boy Band!!!

Raiden: Sweeeeeetness!!!

Tomoko: *glares* 

Raiden: -I mean… Snake! We can't do that!!!

Snake: Why not?

Raiden: Well, because…um… because it's against the law! Yeah…

Snake: No it's not. 

Raiden: Oh, okay. Let's do it then!

Snake: Alright! Let's start looking for band members!

*Later that day…*

Snake: Uh… what can you do??

Spike (From Cowboy Bebop): I look cool and attract the ladies. DUH.

Snake: But _I_ can do that!

Spike: Well I can do it better.

Snake: NOT!!!

Spike: Well… I can set you up with Faye…

Snake: *Stops* You're in!

*Slaps hands with each other*

Raiden: Next!

*Solidus walks up*

Snake: What the…? I thought you weren't supposed to be in this fic!

Raiden: What can you do, anyway?

Solidus: I play heavy metal. Plus, I got tentacles and this really cool T-Shirt thing goin' here.

Snake: What does that have to do with anything? Let's hear you play.

Solidus: *Picks up electric guitar* One, two, three! *Plays off-key*

*Everyone holds their ears*

Solidus: So how was it?

Raiden: To put it bluntly… you suck.

Solidus: [Offended] Yeah, but hey. I get some credit, right?

Snake: What do you think, Bob? *Shakes Bob's head "no"*

Raiden: Nope sorry.

Snake: You suck. Now move. Go find a band who wants "Tentacle Man", ok?

Solidus: Hey Hey HEY! 

Snake: What?

Solidus: *Points to his T-Shirt* At least I gots… um… foo-boo…Fubu! Yeah! Whoo!

Raiden: He does have a point.

Snake: *Sighs* Ok, but Bob's mad. You can be the one to get him out when he locks himself in his room again, threatening to starve himself!

Raiden: …

Snake: …nevermind.

*Otacon & Otaku Tess pull up in a silver BMW sportscar*

Otaku Tess: Hey! What's going on?!?

Otacon: Wha-??? *Stares at Raiden dressed like him*

Raiden: No… it-it's not what you think, Otacon…

Otacon: Snake!!! I'm off for one day and you've already gotten a replacement?!? For shame!!!

Snake: But it wasn't me! It was BOB… *Freaky look*

Otacon: Damn you, Bob!!! *Tackles dummy*

Snake: *Gasps* The end is near!!! Otacon swore!!!

Otaku Tess: Raiden! Still! How could you?!? *Pulls out huge anime-style mallet*

Raiden: Noooo!!! *Starts running*

*Otaku Tess is chasing Raiden around the house/ Otacon is still killing Bob*

Snake: [Amused] Ahh… young love…

Spike: You people sure have a strange way of showing it…

Snake: So? It works for us! *Hands Spike a paper* Practice is at 3:30, ok?

Spike: No prob. I'll have my ship back here by then and I'll talk to Faye.

Snake: Sounds good!

Solidus: *Singing off-key* Fuuuuubuuuu… oh yeah… Fuuuuuubuuuu… love my Fuuuubbuuuu… la la la… teepee… dancing teepees…

Spike: That's… just not right…

Snake: *Goes to choke Solidus*

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To Be Continued in Metal Gear Insanity: For the Love of Boy Bands~ PART 2…

Until then, Ja mata ne!

.:: Tomoko & Chu Chu-chan ::.


	3. Boy Band Bomb-Hiding Otacon ^_^

Metal Gear Insanity: For the Love of Boy Bands ~ PART 2

            Hello everyone! Now… 2nd part of For the Love of Boy Bands! Yay… Spike-kun is a member… that's gotta be good! ^_^ Wait a minute? Who's this new person that has come with him? Phwee! Let's find out! MGS & Characters is Copyright Konami and Hideo Kojima!

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*Snake shields eyes*

Snake: Hey! I see a ship! I see a ship!!! *Picks up Bob and waves him around like a landing stick*

Raiden: That's Spike's ship! Ummm… maybe he doesn't see us. Throw something at it!!!

Snake: Why? 

Raiden: To get his attention, duh!

Snake: Oh, okay. *Throws Bob at the Swordfish II*

[Up at the Swordfish, something hits the window]

Faye: What the hell was that?!?

Spike: *Wakes up* Huh-? What?

Faye: It looked like one of those car crash up dummies… But who would throw one at us from way down there?

Spike: Umm… probably Snake.

Faye: What?

Spike: Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably Bob.

Faye: Oh, now a guy name Bob threw it, huh?

Spike: *mumbles* No, no… Bob was the crash-up dummmmieesszzzzzzzzz…

Faye: Ugh. Men. *Begins to lower the ship*

[Back on Earth]

*Snake just realizes what he's done*

Snake: Oh my GOD!!! BOB!!! NOOOOOO!!! *Starts to cry*

Raiden: Aw, suck it up, you big crybaby! 

*Snake hits Raiden*

Raiden: Wah! *Starts crying* Stop it you meanie! *Hits Snake back*

Snake: No _you_ stop! *Slaps Raiden*

Raiden: No YOU stop!!! *Hits Snake*

Snake: No YOU!!! *Slaps Raiden even harder*

Raiden: NO _YOU_!!! *Hits Snake harder*

*They get into a slapping/hitting match (Gee, who saw that coming? ^_^)*

[Meanwhile, Faye has finally landed the ship and begun dragging Spike out of it]

Faye: Wake up!!! *Kicks Spike in the head with her boot*

Spike: *Flings up* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!!

Faye: For being an idiot…  *Begins walking towards Otacon's house* 

Spike: Ow… dammit! 

*Faye walks over to the fighting pair and tilts an eyebrow*

Faye: If I already didn't know better, I'd find this amusing… *Flips hair*

*Snake and Raiden stop*

Snake and Raiden: WHOAAA… HOT CHICK!!!

Snake: [Like a little kid] MINE! *Pushes Raiden out of the way*

Faye: *Sweatdrop* Um… actually, no. Spike promised me a mature guy.

Snake: *Pulls Raiden back* Hehe… sorry… buddy… BEST PAL! *Slaps Raiden on the shoulder*

Raiden: Speak for yourself! *Pushes Snake out of the way*

Faye: Uh… right. So let's go, then! *Takes Raiden's arm and walks towards Otacon's house*

[Spike is walking to Otacon's house when he comes across Snake fuming in the middle of the road]

Spike: Hey… What's wrong with you?

Snake: Oh nothing… just a dumb assed pasty boy who I think is really a girl anyway!

Spike: *Smiles* Oh… Raiden, huh?

Snake: You got it. *Pulls out a cigarette*

Spike: Let's go kick his ass. *Pulls out a cigarette*

Snake: Ok! Sounds good. *Begins walking with Spike "best friend style" to Otacon's house*

*Someone zips by them on the road*

Tomoko: *Yells back* Not if I get to him first!!! Damn fool borrowed my dress again!!!

Snake: *sniff* But that was OUR special job!

Spike: Then start running. *Breaks into a run to catch up with Tomoko*

Snake: Wait!!!

*Tomoko, Spike, and Snake are all rushing to kill Raiden, when a something falls out of the sky/ Snake catches it*

Snake: *Still running* BOB?

Ed: Noooo silly! Not Bob! Ed's name is EDWARD! Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th… Ed made it up herself… isn't that cool?

Snake: Err… yeah, but you're not Bob.

Spike: ED! What the HELL!

Ed: Hehe…Jet person dropped me off ok? Ed wanted to come along too!

Spike: Jet!!!

*The three- now foursome, finally arrive at Otacon's house*

Tomoko, Spike, and Snake: OH, RAIDEN!!!

Raiden: Yeah? *Turns around*

*Everyone punches him in the face*

Faye: Oh dear… What was that all about?

Tomoko: He borrowed my dress.

Snake: He stole my chick.

Spike: *Cool* He pissed me off.

Faye: *Shrugs shoulders* Okay.

Snake: So…want to go… over to my place??? *winks*

Faye: Actually, I go for gangly guys with glasses…

Tomoko: !!! *Runs over to Otaku Tess and tells her something*

Otaku Tess: !!! *Tomoko & Tessa grab Otacon and run into the house*

Faye: … but it doesn't look like there are any around… *sighs*

Snake: Thank God that Otacon's not around… *whew*

Faye: What?

Snake: Nothing. Heh heh… 

Faye: …?

Snake: *Claps hands* Ok! Time for practice…

Spike: Finally… Wha-?!? *Gets pushed out of the way by Ed*

Ed: Ed wants to practice, too!

Snake: Uh, sorry kid, but nobody will come to see us if you're in the band…

Ed: *pouts* OHHH!!! But Ed-

Faye: Quiet!

Ed: FINE!!! But Ed thinks you'll be sorry! *Evil look*

Snake: Riiight…

*Ed stomps off*

Snake: Ok! Let's get the group together! Guys!!!

*Spike, Faye, Raiden (who has since recovered), and Liquid line up*

Snake: *Begins checking the list, then looks up* Okay, where are Solidus and Otacon?!?

*Otaku Tess and Tomoko glance at one another*

Snake: Grr… now they're really pissing me off!!! OTACON!!! SOLIDUS!!!

*Silence*

Snake: Oh I got it! *Staged voice* OH! My-good-ness! Look-at-that! It's-the-winning-football-team-coming-down-the-street! It-looks-like-the…

*Solidus breaks through the door holding Otacon above his head/ Otacon has his hands and legs tied together with duck tape over his mouth*

Solidus: DAMN THE PATRIOTS!!!

Tomoko and Otaku Tess: *Sweatdrop* O_o Otacon…

Snake: Aha! I knew it!

Solidus: Where are they?!? I'm gonna break their necks and-

Snake: They aren't here.

Solidus: Oh really? Ow, man!!! But I still gots Fubu! Yay!!! *Throws Otacon*

Otacon: *Muffled* HEEELLLLPPPP!!!

*Faye catches him*

Faye: Well… hello handsome. 

Tomoko: Ohhh… not a good move. Not a good move…at all. *Covers her eyes*

*Tessa is fuming…(worse than Snake) and stomps over to Faye*

Otaku Tess: Stay away from my OTACON!!! *Punches Faye so she goes flying over the nearby mountains* 

Otaku Tess: *Looks down at Otacon, who she is now holding* [Sweet voice] Hi, honey.

Otacon: *muffled* Hello.

*Band begins to practice without Faye*

Tomoko: Oh man!!! You guys stink!!!

Solidus: Hey!!! We gots-

Tomoko: -Fubu, yeah I know.

Solidus: *Smiles*

*Ed walks over*

Ed: Hey! Ed is still available to make this band sound good, okay?

Snake: Go away, kid.

Ed: Fine! But this was Ed's final offer! *Stomps away*

Snake: Okay, one more time from the top.

*Continues playing bad for the rest of practice*

[Later, at the concert that night…]

*No one is in the audience*

Snake: Okay. Something is definitely wrong.

Raiden: Maybe it's because we suck.

Snake: What was that?

Raiden: Nothing…

Snake: No… what our problem is…is that we need… hmm… PUBLICITY!!! Yeah! Alright! Otacon!!!

Otacon: Yeah?

Snake: Get your car! Now!

Otacon: What! You crazy? After you crashed it last month drinking, you're never driving it again-!

Snake: No, no… you can drive… me to the nearest RADIO STATION!!!

Otacon: Nani??? 

Snake: C'mon everybody! Let's go!! *Grabs Otacon by the collar*

*Everyone jumps in Otacon's car, including Tessa and Tomoko, and Ed who sneaks into the trunk when no one is looking*

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Hehehe… Radio station, here we come!!! What shall become of Faye? Of Bob? Find out in the next coming chapter, Metal Gear Insanity: For the Love of Boy Bands ~ Part 3!!!

Until then, Ja mata ne!!!

.:: Tomoko ::.

P.S.- My girl Tessa has done it again! She has a new fic, Shadows!!! ^_~ Go check it out… NOW!!! *points the way* It's really good!!! Now… ja ne!


End file.
